5 Stupid Things Small Group Pastors Need to Stop Doing

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You know that thing that you do that every time you do it you slap your forehead and say, "Why do I keep doing that?!!

And every time you do it you swear you're going to never do it again?

We all do them. They're just stupid. And we need to stop doing them.

Here are a few that are MUST. STOP. DOING.

5 Stupid Things Small Group Pastors Need to Stop Doing

1. Matchmaking

Who has the time or available horsepower to find the perfect group for that new couple that walks up to the small group kiosk after the 9:00 a.m. service? Who actually has the time to keep an eye out for a "few new members to take the place of the Smiths and Joneses (who moved away)"?

And yet...who doesn't have to deal with the matchmaking problem on a regular basis?

Now, what makes it stupid is the simple fact that once a group has been meeting longer than 4 to 6 months, it forms an almost impenetrable membrane that is nearly impossible to break through.

Time spent matchmaking is always better spent on launching new groups and training leaders to learn to fish for their own new members.

Time spent matchmaking is always better spent on launching new groups and training leaders to learn to fish for their own new members. Click To Tweet

See also, Are You Prioritizing the Launch of New Groups?Top 10 Ways to Launch New Groups and Skill Training: Top 10 Ways to Find New Group Members.

2. Settling for warm and willing

If your coaching structure includes anyone who is a coach "in name only," you've settled for warm and willing. If you have coaches who love the name tag and coming to the coaches meetings, but really don't love developing and discipling small group leaders...you've settled for warm and willing. You've also settled for warm and willing when you've got coaches who are good people but not exceptional people (i.e., 30 fold instead of 60 or 100 fold).

Effective coaching structures are built when we insist on hot and qualified (the right people) and accept no substitutes. An effective coaching structure requires high capacity leaders of leaders who are fruitful and fulfilled in the task. They must be both effective in their efforts and deeply satisfied with the investment. Both fruitful and fulfilled. Not one or the other.

Effective coaching structures are built when we insist on hot and qualified (the right people) and accept no substitutes. Click To Tweet

Anything less is a waste of time.

See also, How to Build an Effective Coaching Structure and Imagine If Your Coaching Structure Looked Like This?

3. Turning a blind eye to sideways energy.

You have them and I have them. Bible studies, classes, programs and events that pose as steps but don't lead in the direction we want people to go. They are a distraction and in some cases false destinations. Sideways energy.

Think about your menu of discipleship and fellowship options. Think about your website, your program, your announcements, your social media, and your signage. Do options exist that don't move people in the direction you want them to go? Do options exist that really lead to dead-ends and cul de sacs and really aren't steps toward the preferred future you dream of for your church?

If steps lead anywhere other than where we want people to go, we need to be proactively working to reimagine, redesign and relaunch or cancel.

If steps lead anywhere other than where we want people to go, we need to be proactively working to reimagine, redesign and relaunch or cancel. Click To Tweet

See also, Crowd-to-Core: An Essential Understanding at the Heart of My Strategy and Foundational Teaching: Next Steps for EVERYONE

4. Saying "maybe" when "no" is the best answer

Do you ever say "yes" when you know a request isn't something you should approve? Do you ever say "maybe" when you already know that it shouldn't happen and won't really happen?

Think about all the requests that you field over the course of a year.

  • Can our small group meet on campus?
  • Can you find us two new couples for our group?
  • Can you promote the fall session of Precepts along with the small group launch?
  • Etc.

The most effective small group pastors learn to say "no" to anything that compromises the objective. Anytime saying "yes" simply delays a "no" down the road, it is better for everyone to learn to say "no" with gentleness and respect in the very beginning.

The most effective small group pastors learn to say no to anything that compromises the objective. Click To Tweet

See also, Think Twice--and Then Think Again--Before You Approve the New Menu Item.

5. Repeating a failed strategy and hoping for different results

We all know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results. But how many of us have settled for exactly the same failed strategy and hoped for the best? Stop doing that!

Think of each and every strategy or initiative as a resource you are stewarding. Think of the time and energy, manpower, space used, and money spent as resources you are stewarding.

Good stewards invest in brutally honest evaluations of failed strategies and make the necessary adjustments to move to a new trajectory.

Good stewards invest in brutally honest evaluations of failed strategies and make the necessary adjustments to move to a new trajectory. Click To Tweet

See also, Are You “Brutally Honest” about Your Small Group Ministry? and Top 10 Signs Your Small Group Ministry is Schizophrenic.

Image by Steve Johnson

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3 Comments

  1. Adam Workman on September 29, 2015 at 9:33 am

    On point, Mark! This is excellent!



  2. markchowell on September 29, 2015 at 1:15 pm

    Thanks Adam!

    mark



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