I had an interesting question last week that prompted this post.  Here’s the question:

Hey Mark, I am looking for a small group resource that will help a group become more aware of guests – inviting, welcoming, etc. Suggestions?

Thinking I understood the situation, I sent the reader a link to Skill Training: Top 10 Ways to Find New Group Members (which was written as a resource for group leaders who need to train their members to “fill the empty chair“).  Here’s the reader’s response to my answer:

That is helpful! Here is why I asked. We have an open group that meets on Wednesday nights on our campus. I refer new people to this group (emphasis mine).

When I read that last phrase, I knew I needed to respond differently.  Here’s why:

The Downside of Existing Groups Although I believe that there are upsides and downsides for existing groups (which I’ve listed right here), my chief concern when I read that last phrase was the knowledge that the longer a group has been meeting the harder it becomes for a new person to break in and really connect.  In fact, I often say that a nearly  impermeable membrane begins to form in months four to six.  Can a new person enter?  Yes…but only the most extroverted and least self conscious will make the effort.  And I should add, these very same people will often alter the group’s culture and sometimes the group’s ultimate demise can be traced to their inclusion (By the way, I know that sounds harsh, but then again, sometimes the truth hurts!). What about the whole issue of helping existing groups stay viable once they lost members?  Or their leader?  I’ve worked through that important issue right here.

The Upside of New Groups I have a bias toward new groups for many reasons (the main reasons are described in this post).  New groups come with lots of advantages (which are listed in this post).  I also believe that new groups lead to a church OF groups (which I explain in this post).

Conclusion

So…what’s the solution?  By now, you know I always acknowledge that there is no problem-free solution.  Adding new members to existing groups comes with a set of problems.  Launching new groups comes with a set of problems as well.  I prefer the set of problems that comes with a bias toward new groups and the constant effort to launch. That said, I also believe that the easiest way to help unconnected people take a baby step toward connection is an on-campus connecting event (I describe and explain this fully in How to Calm an Unconnected Person’s Second Greatest Fear).  As much as I’ve found it helpful to provide a 24/7 way that unconnected people can use a small group finder (like ChurchTeams) to search for an open group that meets their needs, I view this as an always on, fall back measure.

My recommendation?  Build a small group strategy that regularly launches new groups (using a combination of an annual church-wide campaign and periodic on-campus connecting events (like a small group connection).  As new people arrive, give them an opportunity to sign up for the next connecting opportunity and let them know about the online finder (or list of open groups at the small group booth in the lobby).

Want do you think?  Have a question?  Want to argue?  You can click here to jump into the conversation.

Last week was a great reminder about the power of a small group connection.  We had over 1100 people sign up to attend.  Over 600 people attended one of five connection events and we launched 45 new groups.  The connection process identified over 100 new leaders.  Many, many people said on their way out that they felt more connected at Canyon Ridge than they ever had.  There was a lot of laughter.  There were tears.  It was very fun watching new groups linger to keep talking after the event was over.  Very, very cool.

Let me say right at the top, I don’t see this as a large church strategy.  I know that’s a lot of people.  Think of it on a percentage basis and you’ll see how it can help you, too.

Exhausting and exhilarating, it was a great week.  It was also an important reminder.  Here are 5 incontrovertible takeaways:

1. Your senior pastor’s support and engagement is absolutely essential.  I’ve said this many times, but I want to say it again so that it’s clear.  Our pastor took a couple minutes during his message on the three weekends leading up to the connecting events.  Embedded in his message was a very clear call to sign up and attend a connection.  He took out the sign-up form.  There was no hedging and no waffling.
2. Connecting is a team sport!  We recruited and engaged a large team in order to pull it off.  Over 25 of our existing small group leaders and community leaders made phone calls to remind those who signed up about the upcoming connection events.  Our facilities team made sure the room was set up and ready to go every night.  Our database and check-in staff member was at each event to make sure check-in took place without a hitch.  Our child-care team was in place and ready to help children get settled so their parents could get connected.  Many of our community leaders attended more than one of the events so that the new leaders would feel supported right from the start.  Several staff members were at every event, helping to greet and make attendees feel welcomed and comfortable.
3. New groups provide the easiest point of entry for unconnected people.  One of the most compelling aspects of the small group connection is that everyone is new.  That is a big, big factor and very important.  No one is trying to fit into a preexisting circle of friends.  Executed skillfully, everyone gets a chance to start fresh.
4. The connection process identifies undiscovered leaders in a way that nothing else does.  Although it does happen that a few people attend hoping to lead a group, they are distinctly in the minority; a nearly invisible percentage.  The vast majority of leaders discovered admit later that they were surprised to be chosen, felt absolutely unqualified, were humbled by the selection, and only reluctantly said “yes.”  Sound like any biblical characters you know?
5. Connecting people is a spiritual battle.  I’ve said many times that the easiest thing to do is put off doing the hard work necessary to connect people.  Looking for an easy way to take names versus slogging through multiple connecting events can look very appealing.  It is worth it to work hard to connect because unconnected people are always one tough thing away from being knocked out of the crowd.

Want do you think?  Have a question?  Need clarification?  You can click here to jump into the conversation.

As I looked at the crowded room, I felt the curious mix of anticipation and anxiety that I always feel when a small group connection is about to begin.  To be completely honest, there’s even just a little hint of resignation as I balance the 75 minutes or so against the lives that are just about to change.

Without an available room at the optimum times (right after each of the services), we decided to hold connections on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights.  With the full support of my senior pastor and three straight weeks of promotion in his weekend message, we came into our final morning of promotion with over 650 people signed up.

Sunday night we connected over 210 adults into 15 new small groups.  Guided by the design of the event, each group chose leaders (you can read my article How to Launch Groups Using a Small Group Connection for details on how the Connection works).  Wish you could have seen it or even felt it.  Very cool to be there.

I’ve been using the small group connection strategy since 2000.  I’ve personally launched well over 1,000 small groups and I’ve coached hundreds of churches in its use.

It is a great strategy.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told that the connection process is reckless.  I’ve been told lots of times that it “doesn’t work here.”  I’ve seen the eye rolls as I describe how it works.

At the end of the day, here’s what I know.  The small group connection strategy is not without risk.  That is a given.  At the same time, the opportunity makes it all worth while.  Sunday night was exhibit A.  As over 200 newly connected people lingered around tables, the room still buzzed of conversation.  That was exciting, but there was something else even more exciting.  As the group of new leaders crowded around me to hear my brief standup meeting…I knew once again the thrill of watching a journey begin.

I hope you know that thrill.  It comes when you learn to not let risk take your eyes off the opportunity.

I’ve written more than once about the power of using special days (like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day) to launch groups.  Looking at my archives for other examples alerted me to the fact that I didn’t update you fully on a key strategic innovation that I tripped across two years ago and confirmed last year.

The idea of promoting a connecting opportunity for women off of Mother’s Day and men off of Father’s Day isn’t new.  You can find out all about how to promote it and some of the steps in pulling it off well in the articles below.  The key innovation may seem trivial, but I can tell you it works big time.  Here’s what we discovered:

First of all, we’ve recognized that next to the fear of coming to church for the very first time, leaving the relatively safe anonymity of the auditorium and showing up in a stranger’s living room is right on its heels.  Clearly, it is the second greatest fear.  How can it be overcome?  Hold on campus midsize connecting events as steps that lead to the win of being connected.

Next, we concluded that it might be time to run an event that wasn’t overtly about connecting.  Instead…in 2010 we called it a book study and chose The Measure of a Man by Gene Getz for our first test.  You can read the specifics of how we did it right here.  A very successful test, we connected over 140 men in groups that began on-campus and migrated off campus over a period of 6 weeks.  9 of  the 14 groups were still meeting one year later.

Set for a second try, we promoted another book study for women in the summer of 2011.  Using Bad Girls of the Bible, we took sign-ups and prepaid orders for the book.  We designed it to have a 10 a.m. session and a 7 p.m. session.  Again, we did not have preselected leaders.  Our plan was to simply sort the women out into groups by geography and have them discuss the questions at the end of each chapter.  Amazingly, we had over 200 women attend the book study.  On the first night we learned that the evening group of over 130 women included less than ten who were connected to another group of any kind.  That is a huge learning!  Do not miss that.  These groups also began on campus and migrated off over a period of 5 or 6 weeks.  Months later, many of them were choosing follow up material and still meeting.

Here are four additional articles on this subject

How to Use Special Days to Launch Groups (6/08)

Taking Advantage of Special Days to Launch Groups (4/10)

The Results Are In…Women’s Connection Recap (5/10)

File This Under Connection Ideas (7/10)

Want do you think? Have a question? Want to argue? You can click here to jump into the conversation.

We’ve all seen the studies that show that people are more afraid of speaking in public than they are of dying, right?  Or…you’ve at least heard that statistic referenced in a sermon.  But what about when it comes to grouplife?  What are unconnected people really afraid of?  Here’s what I remind my team about all the time:

When we’re designing connecting opportunities, we need to keep in mind that for many unconnected men and women…just driving into the church parking lot and getting out of their cars for the first time was really scary.

Now, I’ll admit that there are people who move to a new church and never think twice about it.  I’m not talking about them.  I’m talking about the people that finally act on an invitation to give your church a try…and pull into your parking lot not knowing what lies ahead.

That is scary.  Where do we go?  What will it be like?  Will the people be friendly?  Will it be really boring?

It’s a scary experience.  I think we can all empathize, at least to a degree.

What I think we miss sometimes, and this is what I talk with my team about, is that in many cases their second greatest fear is even scarier!  What’s their second greatest fear?  I think it’s leaving the comfortable anonymity of your auditorium and showing up at a stranger’s front door to join a small group!  Queue the Psycho sound effect.

You see it, right?  So…what can we do about it?

An On-Campus Connecting Event’s Major Advantage

While it is almost always really scary to show up at a stranger’s front door, it’s much safer to walk from the auditorium to an on-campus connecting event like a small group connection.  I may not know anyone in the room, but at least I know where the room is.  I may not really be looking forward to talking to strangers…but at least we’ll all be in a neutral territory.  I may not know what’s going to happen…but at least everyone’s in the same boat!

Before you jump to any conclusions, I love the HOST strategy and it’s ability to connect neighbors, friends, family members and co-workers.  When I’m invited to join a group meeting in a friend’s living room…it’s a totally different experience.

What we’re talking about here is that while some percentage of unconnected adults will go online and use your small group finder or walk up to a booth in the lobby and ask how to join a group, they’re not the majority.  If you want to connect people no one else is connecting, you’re going to have to keep their needs and concerns in mind as you plan your connecting opportunities.

Can you see it?  If you want to connect 150% of your weekend adult attendance, you’re going to need to take advantage of both on-campus opportunities (like the small group connection) and decentralized, off-campus strategies (like HOST).

Want do you think? Have a question? Want to argue? You can click here to jump into the conversation.

What’s the best way for people to sign up and commit to a group?

It’s a frequently asked question.  It’s a fair question.  It’s almost always the wrong question.

How can it be the wrong question?  Well…maybe it’s just the way it’s worded and the underlying meaning of the words, “sign up.”  Here’s what I mean.

In most cases, taking sign-ups implies an opportunity for unconnected people to fill out a form and turn it in.  There are three basic instances when a form is turned in:

Sign up to be placed in a group: It is almost always a bad idea to allow people to to turn in a form to be placed in a group.  I know this isn’t a universally held opinion, but in my experience taking on a matchmaking role is almost always counterproductive.  First of all, once the form is filled out motivation changes.  Second, the follow up phone call frequently connects the matchmaker with the spouse who did not fill out the form.

Sign up to attend an event where they will have an opportunity to connect (i.e., a Saddleback style small group connection or a North Point style grouplink event).  A much better option, the form serves the purpose of expressing commitment to attend the event.  Upside: the event itself does the work of connection.  Downside: only those who attend the event get connected.

Sign up to HOST a group: Different than signing up to join a group, this form is used to take commitments to host a group.  Hosts are encouraged to fill their own group.  Upside: this strategy connects the friends, neighbors, family members and co-workers of the host.  Downside: requires a joining opportunity for those who aren’t invited.  This can be done a variety of ways that avoid turning in a form promising placement (matchmaking):

1. An online solution like ChurchTeams is both easy to employ and reasonable priced, allowing unconnected people to find a group without going through a middle man.  In addition, an online solution allows an all-church email to be sent with a link to the small group finder.
2. A printed list of groups can be made available at the small groups table in the lobby.  The list of groups can be distributed.  Alternatively, potential members can commit to an individual group by adding their name and information directly to the group roster (this is different than a form that implies matchmaking).
3. A group fair allows potential members to sign up directly with group leaders.  Each open group can host a table at the fair.

What’s the best way for people to sign up and commit to a group?  As I mentioned earlier, I believe it is the wrong question.  The right question?  What’s the best way to connect the largest number of unconnected people?  I begin answering that question right here.  Be sure you’re signed up to get my updates.  You can do that right here.)

What do you think?  Got a question?  You can click here to jump into the conversation.

Looking for a video that shows the value of being in a small group in times of trouble?  We had Kenny Luck (Everyman Ministries, Men’s Pastor at Saddleback) in to do a conference for men and he showed this video at very end; to help men understand that life is dangerous to do on your own.

You might have heard of this video.  It’s had over 61 million views on YouTube.  I had never seen it and it perfectly shows the value of a herd.  Spoiler Alert: No one get’s seriously hurt…or eaten.

If you can’t see the video, click here to watch it on YouTube.  By the way, Kenny Luck always does a fabulous job and our men loved the conference.

Welcome back to my 6 week bootcamp series, designed to walk you through the steps of preparing to accelerate the growth of your grouplife system in 2011.  There really are some very basic ideas that make this timeline effective, and frankly, make any ministry timeline effective.  If you can learn to do the following things, you can accomplish a great deal:

• look ahead in your planning
• identify natural opportunities that are built in to the ebb and flow of the people in your community
• leverage the authority and position of your senior pastor
• over-communicate

You’ll still have limitations (i.e., the size of your community, the pace of life in your community, built-in systems, etc.), but these four things…you can do way more than you probably think you can.  And, if you’re on board with what God’s already blessing, there’s nothing you can’t do!

This Week’s Assignment

Because we’ve looked way ahead (we actually started on this project 5 weeks ago!), there are only a couple things that must be done this week.  And honestly, these two things should become part of your weekly agenda…they’re that important.  Here’s what to do:

First, make sure you connect with your senior pastor and reconfirm their participation in promoting the small group connection(s) that you are planning.  Senior pastors are busy; they’re often thinking about more than one initiative at a time; and they’re besieged from all sides by the leaders of other ministries and programs clamoring  for their attention.  Which makes it supremely important that you keep reminding them of their key role in promoting the upcoming small group connection(s).

This is probably a good time to remind you of one the most important lessons I’ve learned about communicating with senior pastors.  Here it is: Life-change stories are almost always the best way to get their attention.  So…when you connect with your pastor to talk about their upcoming role in promoting the connection, make sure you’ve got a story (or two) about the life-change that’s happening in your existing grouplife system.

Second, it’s always important to reconfirm some details that you’ve probably already nailed down (i.e., that you’ve chosen the study that your new groups will be using, that you’ve determined when it is has to be ordered, that the bulletin insert is being designed and will be ready for inclusion, etc.).

Question: Feelin’ the assignment? Does it make sense? Use the comment section to put in your two cents. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Getting ready for a year when grouplife really accelerates? Hopefully you’ve gotten a lot done in week 1, week 2,  week 3 and week 4 of our 6 week boot camp. But even if you’re joining us in progress, you can still catch up easily. You just need to pick up the pace of the things you’re doing…or add time to the end of the schedule.

This Week’s Assignment

We’re now 5 weeks into our 6 week process.  Congratulations for sticking with it!  It will pay off as you kick things in gear right off the bat in 2011.  This week’s assignment is pretty light.  There really are just two things you must get done:

1. You’ll want to make sure you’re prepared to order the materials that your new groups will be using.  To be prepared, you need to have selected the study you’ll be using, estimated the number you’ll need, and figured out how long it will take for them to be delivered.  I briefly mentioned selecting curriculum in the very first week.  The key to me is to choose a study that is easy for the leader to use.  That definitely means DVD-driven.  A second key is to choose a topic that will appeal to unconnected people and probably people who know less about the Bible.  Third, the ideal length is 6 weeks.  That makes it short enough for new people to commit to and long enough for the very beginning stages of connective tissue to develop.
2. Next, you’ll want to give some thought to the items you’ll include in the Leader Packet that you distribute at the very end of the Connection event.  The last thing that happens at a connection is a short stand-up meeting with your new “leaders.”  I describe that meeting very thoroughly in the 4th article in the connection series.  I also detail what I include in the Leader Packet.
3. The last thing you need to do this week is schedule the New Leader Orientation meeting.  I usually try to hold it about a week after the Connection event.  It’s a short meeting, about 75 minutes.  What it accomplishes is just a little bit of training and a great opportunity for your new leaders to connect with their coach.

That’s it for this week.  I hope this is helping you.  You have an opportunity to change the landscape for the people who are connected in early 2011.  Some of them will never be the same.  Some of them will always look back on what happened in early 2011 and mark it as the moment that their new life in Christ really took hold.  Thanks for playing your part!

Question: Feelin’ the assignment? Does it make sense? Use the comment section to put in your two cents. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Getting ready for a year when grouplife really accelerates?  Hopefully you’ve gotten a lot done in week 1, week 2 and week 3 of our 6 week boot camp.  But even if you’re joining us in progress, you can still catch up easily.  You just need to pick up the pace of the things you’re doing…or add time to the end of the schedule.

This Week’s Assignment

There are a couple things that need to happen this week as you prepare for the small group connection, the first major event in your 2011 strategy.

First, now is the time to prepare to market your event. I know not everyone likes that word…but that’s really what you’re doing.  And there are at least three ways you should be thinking about marketing your small group connection.

• You’ll want to have a bulletin insert, a sign-up sheet, for at least the two weeks prior to the event.  Three weeks is even better.  What you need is pretty simple.  You just need a form that can be filled out quickly that will capture their name(s), their address (street, city and zip), their best phone number, their best email, whether they need childcare, and the type of group they’re looking for.  Obviously, it will also need the event title, the date of the event, and maybe a tagline (I usually like it to say, “Give us an hour.  We’ll help you get connected.”
• If your church has an enewsletter or a newsletter that is mailed…you want to have the small group connection in the newsletter.  Be sure and give your readers a way to respond (i.e., Call 555-1212 Ext. 123 or email us at _________ to sign up).
• It’s a great idea to get the event on the website.  If you can, make sure it’s on the home page of your website.  This is another discussion, but if it’s hard to find out how to get connected at your church, you really can’t expect to get very far in connecting your congregation.
• If your church uses slides either pre-service or during announcements, now is the time to alert whoever prepares the slides that you’ll be needing them soon.
• If you have a small group booth, it’s not a bad idea to have a poster or sign there promoting the upcoming small group connection.

The second thing that will payoff this week is to circle back to your senior pastor and remind them about the small group connection event and confirm their role in marketing it.  In order to have the best attendance, you need your senior pastor to play along.  And ideally, you need their help for three weeks in a row (remember, your average adult attendance is made up of people who don’t come every week.  If you want everyone’s attention, your senior pastor needs to talk about it several weeks in a row.)

I provide quite a bit of detail on how to make the ask for a small group connection right here.

There’s plenty to do on this week’s assignment.  But it’s doable.  If you work at it now, you’ll have a great start for 2011!

Can I ask you a favor? Especially if you get my updates by email…why not forward it to someone else who’s working the small group ministry puzzle in another church?  Share the love…so to speak!  I appreciate your help in passing these ideas around!

Question: Feelin’ the assignment? Does it make sense? Use the comment section to put in your two cents. You can leave a comment by clicking here.