We talk a lot about life-change in small group land. We often say that the optimal environment for life-change is a small group. I regularly tell people that the weekend service—even with inspiring worship and practical teaching—is closest in kind to a defibrillator. You know that thing they use on you when you’re on the gurney and someone yells, “Clear!” It can jump-start an irregular spiritual heartbeat. But it’s not permanent. It’s temporary. As soon as you’re back in the car on the way to lunch and the traffic backs up and the kids are screaming, you’re right back to where you were earlier. A defibrillator only provides temporary jolt. What’s surgery or therapy? Life-on-life. If I know that you’re meeting me at the restaurant and will be asking how I’m doing, I’m more likely to press on and work on the things we’re working on together. If you want real life-change, you need life-on-life. That’s therapy or surgery. That’s where I know you well enough to be used by God to actually help you change.
So…how does life-change really happen at the member level? I contend that being in a group is not what causes it. There’s nothing magical about sitting around a coffee table and talking. No, what I’ve found so often is that if you want life-change to happen at the member level, something will have to happen to the leader of the group…first.
Let me say it this way. Whatever you want to happen at the member level, will have to happen to the leader first. If you want your members to experience what it feels like to be prayed for, encouraged in tough times, held accountable, cared for, challenged, laughed with and cried with, listened to…if you want your members to have this experience…someone will have to be doing it to the leaders of your groups first.
And that is where the rub is. Why? Well, for one thing, Jethro had it right when he told Moses, “The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone (Exodus 18).” Ever felt like Moses? Maybe it was working pretty well and then you added four more groups (and that made 15 total). Or maybe you launched groups last fall and trying to keep all 21 new leaders going just about friend you. And on top of all that, you’ve got other responsibilities.
What’s the solution? Is there a solution? Yes. It’s the one that Jethro had for Moses. “But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens.” Ever wonder where the coaching idea came from? There it is. Divide the responsibility among capable people.
Everyone needs to be cared for by someone, but nobody can care for more than about 10
You can’t do it all. At the same time there are limitations to what any one person can do. I like the way Carl George said it, “Everyone needs to be cared for by someone, but nobody can care for more than about 10.”
The lesson? If you want life-change to happen at the member-level, it has to happen to the leader first. If you want it to happen in the life of the leader…you’ll need to develop leaders of leaders.
The question? How is that going? Are you actually working that edge of the puzzle? Or have you tried to make it work and it just hasn’t gone anywhere? Want a sample of my course on building an effective coaching structure? I want to invite you to join me for a free taste of coaching call that will get you started on the right foot.
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