Review: You Lost Me by David Kinnaman

Share via:

The search for ways to connect the 60% who are unreachable with the attractional model is an important part of my mission and certain books offer clues that are clearly part of the hunt.  One of the most recent entries in the collection is You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving the Church…and Rethinking Faith by David Kinnaman.  New from Baker, if you recognize Kinnaman’s name, you might have read unChristian, published in 2007 (with Gabe Lyons).

Kinnaman is the president and majority owner of the Barna Group, known for its body of research.  You Lost Me is based on a study of young insiders, “young adults who once thought of themselves as Christians–who have left the church and sometimes the faith.”  A series of national public opinion surveys conducted by the Barna Group for the You Lost Me project between 2007 and 2011, along with the findings from two decades of prior national studies, form the basis for the conclusions reached in the book.  In “research tailored to understand eighteen to twenty-nine year olds,” participants were asked “to describe their experience of church and faith, what pushed them away, and what connective tissue remains between them and Christianity (p. 21).”

Packed with stories from survey interviews, You Lost Me is very readable and at the same time will call to mind conversations you’ve had with young adults who attend your church (or used to).  The book also includes a steady supply of charts, graphs and references to the actual questions that formed the basis of the interviews.

One of the most helpful aspects of the book is Kinnaman’s categorization of three basic groups that the study revealed:

  • Nomads: Estimated that “about two-fifths of young adults who have a Christian background will go through a period of spiritual nomadism,” nomads still view themselves as Christians but believe involvement in the Christian community is optional.
  • Prodigals: Consists of young people “who leave their childhood or teen faith entirely.”  Kinnaman’s category includes those “who deconvert (including atheists, agnostics, and ‘nones’ (those who say they have no religious affiliation) and those who switch to another faith.”  About 11% of dropouts fit this category.
  • Exiles: In a sense taking their cue from Daniel’s experience (think Old Testament exile), this group wants to “inform and transform the ‘foreign’ culture that surrounds them, rather than withdrawing from it.  But many don’t know how.  They are trying on new ways of Christ-following that make sense to their communities and careers” and “their rejection of some mindsets and methods common to the North American church stem from this desire (p. 77).”

Part Two identifies and teases out some very important understandings of the “six themes that capture the overall phenomenon of the disconnection between the next generation and the church.”  Another of the most helpful aspects of the book is the way Kinnaman takes each of the themes (overprotective, shallow, anti-science, repressive, exclusive, and doubtless) and provides “ways in which the struggles of the next generation ought to shift our thinking and practice (p. 94).”  Described as “turns,” I think this feature could be extremely helpful in re-thinking the way many of our programs are designed.

Finally, Part Three offers several key insights derived from the study that will be important in the retooling of our approach.  Additionally, the final chapter, Fifty Ideas to Find a Generation, provides a wide-ranging sampling of ideas provided by quite a list of contributors for “how the Christian community might cultivate a ‘new mind’ for understanding and discipling the next generation (p. 213).”  The list of ideas includes contributions by Jon Acuff, Francis Chan, Shane Claiborne and many others.  Additionally, you can find more resources at www.youlostmebook.org.

You Lost Me is a great addition to the conversation!  So much here to wrestle with along with plenty of ideas begging to be tried.  If you want to play a part in reaching the 60%, I highly recommend this book.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email