small group coachingTag Archive -

Making Coaching Work

Caught this great interview of Bill Donahue over at MacLakeOnline.  Good stuff!  Check it out.

Making Small Groups Work

FutureThere are a few books every small group pastor needs.  One of those books is Making Small Groups Work by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  You may recognize their names as the authors of the best-seller, Boundaries.  If you’re looking for source material to build a leader training or enrichment course, this is a must have.

Delivered in a very digestible format, Making Small Groups Work’s 292 pages is divided into 6 parts.

  • How Small Groups Help People Grow: a very helpful section on the ingredients that make groups conducive for growth.
  • What Happens in a Good Group: more than a description, this section is written to help leaders and members learn how to build forgiveness, mentoring, grieving, accountability, and 10 other elements into the group.
  • Starting a Small Group: provides an excellent overview on the importance of deciding on purpose and ground rules as well as how to do it.
  • The Responsibilities of Group Facilitators: this section could be the basis for a multi-session workshop for leaders covering everything from how to listen, facilitate for change, provide safety, and a number of other important topics.
  • The Responsibilities of Group Members: if you’re looking for material that can guide desired outcomes of discussion material produced in-house, this is a very helpful section.
  • How to Deal with Problems in Groups: this section ought to be included in the training process for every leader.  From neediness to passivity, you’ll find help for 7 of the most challenging issues leaders face.

Whether you can afford to purchase several and make them available as required reading for leaders or you simply pick up one for yourself and use it as a resource to develop leader training, Making Small Groups Work is required reading  for every small group pastor.

Better Group Life Through Technology

What technologies are you using in your small group ministry?  Website page?  Blog?   Facebook?  Twitter?  Data management system (like Churchteams or GroupsInteractive)?

Or are you doing the things according the the KJV?  You know…the old fashioned way.  Printed catalogs?  Phone trees?  Sign up forms?

The times are achangin’ you know.  Today your leaders can download session 2 from the blog, interact with each other, let you know the DVDs are defective.  They can meet up with their coach via tokbox or google’s video chat.  You can update everyone via Facebook or Twitter with a text message from your phone.

So what technologies are you using in your small group ministry?  Take 2 minutes and answer our two question survey.  Click here to take the survey.  I’ll put up the results in an upcoming post.

Who Makes the Best Coach?

In our ongoing look at the top 10 axiomatic beliefs of group life, one area that ought to draw our attention is coaching.  It is logical that a coach would be helpful…even required.  But who makes the best coaches?  It is so common for churches to make that assignment to their elders or deacons.  But do they have what is needed to do this job?  Other churches are stuck in the idea that there is a career path that leads from member to leader and from leader to coach.  Is that likely to produce a good team of coaches?  Or is there more to this?

When you’re new to a sport or activity and you want to develop proper techniques, who makes the best coach?  Isn’t it obvious that it’s someone who has done what you’re trying to learn to do?  After all, when you want your kids to learn to swim…you know you need someone to coach them or teach them who knows how to do it.

Makes sense right?

Then why is there confusion about who makes the best small group coach?  Probably because the role of the coach is inadequately defined.  If you know what you’re looking for, it’s easier to find the right person.  Here’s the job description I’m using right now.  Take a look.  Keep it open.  And follow along right here.

First, notice what the purpose is: “To produce healthy disciples.”  That should tell you a lot.  Note what it doesn’t say.  “Chief score-keeper” or “Accountant.”  Instead, you’re looking for someone who’s capable of building disciples.  That tells you a great deal about the kind of person you’re looking for.  On top of that, two of their top responsibilities are more about a personal connection with Christ than anything they might do for the small group leaders they are coaching.

Second, you’ll see that there is the expectation that they’ll host a huddle every 4 to 8 weeks.  That will require some preparation, a commitment to getting dates on the calendar, and the kind of winsome personality that draws people in and helps them feel comfortable.

Third, there is the expectation of personalized care for each of the leaders in their huddle.  I love the word “care.”  It makes it clear that this is more than score-keeping or accounting.  My contention is that whatever I ultimately want to members of a group to experience…the leader has to be experiencing it first.  That is, if I want the member to feel cared for, somehow I need to make sure the leader feels cared for.  This is a great challenge.  Very tough to do.  But it is the goal of the coaching structure.

Fourth, there is a need to be on the lookout for the next generation of coaches.  As your structure grows, as you increase the number of groups and the number of people in them, you’ll want your coaches (who are the right people) to be looking for potential coaches (who are becoming the right people).

Last, there is the expectation that your coaches will be involved in a huddle with other coaches where their own care needs will be met.  After all, whatever you want your leaders to experience will need to be experienced first by their coaches.

When you think about these 5 parts of the job…can you see your elders or deacons in the role?  Are some more suitable than others?  Is it likely that every small group leader could become a coach at some point?  Or would there be a kind of person who could care for 8 to 10 members that couldn’t care for 5 to 6 leaders?

When you’re looking for coaching candidates keep these requirements in mind.  For more on this topic, see my four part series.

Debug Your Thinking – a Group Life Webinar

Thursday, September 3rd, 12:00 to 12:45 pm CDT

Click here to register

Trying to figure out why your small group ministry isn’t really delivering the results you’re looking for?  Resigned to the fact that in your church it just doesn’t work?  I want to suggest that there are probably some underlying assumptions that are keeping you from seeing things a different way.

One of the most important books I’ve read in the last decade has been Gary Hamel’s The Future of Management.  Particularly chapter 7 on escaping the shackles.  There are some ideas in that chapter that have come to shape my thinking about what is possible and what we could be doing in small group ministry.

I want to invite you to join me and the Willow Creek Association Group Life team for a conversation on how to apply Gary Hamel’s principles to your ministry.  I know you’ll find it helpful.  I believe you’ll leave with some next steps that will make a difference.  You can join the conversation from your home or office.  And…it’s free.

Thursday, September 3rd, 12:00 to 12:45 pm CDT.

Click here to register!

Where Can I Find New Coaches?

A great conversation yesterday drew an important question.  We’re getting ready for a church-wide campaign and know we’ll need coaches for our newest hosts.  Where can I find new coaches?

Ever asked that one?  It’s a good question.  Important on a couple levels.  First, it is important that your newest hosts have a coach who is available to help and who is checking in with them on a weekly basis.  The first 10 to 13 weeks of their new existence is a critical time period, not unlike the first few days and weeks of a newborn’s life.  That said, it follows that if you recruit a wave of new hosts to open their homes for a church-wide campaign, you could suddenly need an additional coach (or 10!).  So…where will they come from?

Here are a couple thoughts:

  1. Although it’s not essential, I look first among existing small group leaders for coaches.  You probably do to.  The reason I look there is that they’ve made it as a group leader and understand some things about what works.
  2. Depending on what I find among existing group leaders, I’m not opposed to recruiting from outside but they have to really fit the bill from a teachability standpoint and from a SHAPE standpoint.
  3. I’m not looking for warm and willing.  I’m looking for hot and qualified.  That is, the ideal candidate has a passion for group life, is a high-capacity leader, is loyal to our church and our pastor, is very relational and fun to be around.

The second reason this is an important question is that coaches need to be recruited to the function before they’re recruited to the form.  You’ve heard of “form before function?”  I’ve found it makes a big difference when I simply ask a seasoned small group leader to take a new host or two under her wing, just for 10 to 13 weeks (six weeks of the campaign, couple weeks before, couple weeks after).  I’ll frequently say:

I’ve seen you in action over the last year.  You’re doing a great job with your group.  Would you be willing to help get a couple of our new hosts get off to a good start?  Sit with them at the orientation.  Connect with them weekly.  Make sure they have what they need to really succeed?

This is function before form.  Before I sit down with them and invite them to join our coaching team, I want to see them in action.  By agreeing to help get a couple new groups started they’re able to put their toe in the water without a long-term commitment.  I’m able to see if they’ll do the job and whether they’re really a fit for it…before I offer them an ongoing role on the team.  This is big because it’s a lot easier to ask someone to become a coach than it is to ask them to stop coaching!

Once you’ve had a chance to see them in action you can decide if they are a good fit and whether you’d like to add them to the coaching team.  I’ve found it is really beneficial to ask them how it felt to help a couple new hosts get started.  You need them to be fruitful and fulfilled.  One without the other is not good.  Fruitful without fulfillment doesn’t lead to long term service.  Fulfillment without fruit doesn’t help anyone.  You want both and it’s worth holding out for.

The Exponential Power of a Church-Wide Campaign

What is the most powerful way to impact your entire congregation?  Many believe that a church-wide campaign, what Rick Warren refers to as a spiritual growth emphasis,  is the most important spiritual innovation in the last 50 years…maybe the last century.  Why?  Read on.

Although there are very basic church-wide campaigns that simply offer a way of focusing the weekend message, more robust campaigns align everything that everybody is doing for the season.  Weekend sermons, small group curriculum, children’s Sunday School programming, student ministry programming, memory verses, newsletters, bulletin inserts, websites, everything is used to get everyone on the same page for six weeks.

(Need help?  Click here to find out about my Church-Wide Campaign Coaching program)

Alignment is the key.  Why is this important?  Church life without alignment is like a car out of alignment.  Instead of everything moving in the same direction, all four tires are trying to move in a slightly different direction.  Can it work?  Only roughly.  Put things in alignment…and experience the synergy of everyone and every ministry on the same page.  How do you get alignment?  There are four important keys to launching a church-wide campaign.

  • Choosing a campaign theme is the most important decision you’ll make.  Although the 40 Days of Purpose is the most familiar, there are a number of off-the-shelf campaigns available.  I’ve highlighted some of the best over the last several years. Take a look at Looking for a New Church-Wide Campaign, New Church-Wide Campaigns for 2009, The Latest in Church-Wide Campaigns for 2010 and New Church-Wide Campaigns for Fall 2010.  Additionally, with some work you can put together a home grown campaign.  A key question is, “Who are you trying to engage?”  The difference between what will engage the core or committed versus what will engage the crowd must be taken into consideration.  I’ve written about this right here.
  • Determining when to do your church-wide campaign is also very important.  Adequate preparation synchronized with a season that allows build up and follow through is essential.  For this reason, the fall ministry season is optimal in many ways.  Saddleback, masters of the campaign universe, launch most of their campaigns at the end of September, allowing a burst of promotion right after Labor Day to enlist end-of-the-summer new attendees.  With certain caveats pre and post Easter are other effective campaign launch windows.
  • The weekend series before and after the campaign play an important role in who will be engaged and who will stay engaged.  Opening the fall with a broadly appealing series gives you the ability to engage the crowd or community.  Following the campaign with a series that is immediately applicable to your newest attendees will help them remain engaged.
  • The strategy used to recruit small group leaders plays an important role in who will be in the groups.  Choosing a crowd-sensitive topic and recruiting HOSTS from the congregation beyond the usual suspects are essential ingredients in the recipe for an exponential campaign.  Decisions made about who can lead and how you’ll fill groups enable wider impact that reaches beyond the twice a month attendee and into the crowd and community.

Need more help?  Ready to plan a church-wide campaign that reaches beyond the usual suspects and into your community?  Setting up a series of coaching calls is easy, very affordable, and will pay for itself.  You’ll have clarity on your next steps or your money back.  I guarantee it.

Designing Your Small Group System

We had a great call today with my good friend Kent Odor, this week’s guest on the Small Group Fraternity. Definitely in the small group pioneer category, Kent has a long small group history and has had many great experiences along the way.  In today’s call there were a number of important insights.  Just wanted to share this one with all of you, because it will help you in the development of your small group system.

Kent talked about how every cell in a biological sense needs input, output and connection…and so does every soul.  He went on to explain that every soul needs input (3 types: from the front, in groups, and individual), output (serving), and connection that keeps them safe and growing.

I asked him to drill down a little further and he explained that they think of input as based on the 5 core values of the Cincinnati Vineyard.  Here are their 5 core values:  Servant Community (In community we serve together), Outward Focused (It’s all about someone else), Worship (What you were called for), Empowered Transformation (Redeemed to maturity through the Holy Spirit), Relevant (Just right for every moment).

Now here’s the cool part.  First, they’ve looked through the Serendipity Bible and identified 24 studies for each core value.  And, as Kent told us, “it gets better.”  The second thing they’re doing is, recognizing the four stages identified in Willow’s Reveal study (Exploring Christ, Growing in Christ, Close to Christ, and Christ-Centered), each of the 24 studies for each core value is tagged according to the stage it is ideally suited for.

That’s some really good systems thinking and a great example of the kind of thing we’re getting with the Small Group Fraternity.

Learning How to Pray Together

If the greatest fear that people have is public speaking…it only makes sense that many people will be hesitant to pray out loud.  Here are some ideas that I’ve found very helpful:

  • Distribute index cards and pens and ask each person to write out a simple one sentence prayer request.  Swap cards and read them aloud.
  • Ask each person to fill in the blank and say one thing they’re thankful for:  “God, I’m thankful for my ______________,”
  • Pull a chair into the middle of the room and suggest that since Jesus said, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them (Matthew 18:20),” in tonight’s meeting let’s speak to him as if he was right in that chair.
  • Sentence prayers with no conjunctions (and).  One idea only.  For example, “God help me with __________.”  “God I’m thankful for _______________.”  “God be with Dean tonight in a way he can sense.”
  • Ground rule: You can only pray for a personal concern tonight.  Nothing for your sister’s husband’s co-worker’s daughter.
  • Ask your members to pair up or get in groups of three. I’ve written much more about this idea in The Power of a Spiritual Training Partner.

Have you got some ideas that have worked for you?  Use the comments to spread the word!

Future

What’s the Best Way to Close a Meeting in Prayer?

Q: “What is the best way to close a group meeting in prayer?”

A: Great question!  There are several parts to my answer.  First, the entire meeting structure ought to vary according to the needs of the group’s members.  After all, new groups will be much less willing to share genuine needs.  Long-term groups may spend a much longer portion of their group time praying.

Second, if the intensity of a meeting ought to change over time, it makes sense that the way your group prays together ought to change over time.  The closing prayer at the very first meeting might be more of a blessing than anything else.  As the group begins to get to know each other you may find that what used to take 5 minutes now takes 30.  You may also find that without some intentionality the authenticity of your member’s prayer requests are stuck at a fairly superficial level.  This is the point when it will benefit everyone to take advantage of the idea of a spiritual partner.

Third, if the only person that can close is the official leader…you’ve missed a great opportunity.  As early as possible you’ll want to begin to help your members learn how to pray together.

Future

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