The Number One Reason Leaders Don’t Want a Coach
I'm often told by small group pastors and directors that the main reason they don't have a coaching structure is that their leaders do not want a coach.
Ever thought that? Ever said that?
Here's what I've found. Most of the time, if not 100% of the time, the small group leaders who say they don't want a coach are actually experienced small group leaders who have retroactively been assigned a coach. New small group leaders are almost always very grateful you've provided them a coach.
Most of the time, if not 100% of the time, the small group leaders who say they don't want a coach are actually experienced small group leaders who have retroactively been assigned a coach. Click To Tweet
Why do you think experienced small group leaders almost never want a coach?
Three key reasons experienced leaders almost never want a coach:
First, experienced leaders (especially those who have been retroactively assigned a coach) know intuitively that what a coach has to offer can't be essential to survival...or their group would not still be alive.
Can you see how that is at the heart of the issue? Makes sense, right?
Experienced leaders (especially those who have been retroactively assigned a coach) know intuitively that what a coach has to offer can't be essential to survival or their group would not still be alive. Click To Tweet
Second, most coaching strategies mistakenly focus on providing guidance on technique at best. That is, the best case function of a coach is very often limited to simply helping the leader improve their basic skills (leading more dynamic discussions, helping less extroverted members participate, or providing counsel on dealing with an extra-grace-required member).
In almost every case, a group leader either learns how to do these things in the first few months or the group dies.
Finally, many coaching strategies utilize coaches as fact-checkers and accountants. This is the worst case scenario where the only function of a coach is to monitor leader's who might slip off the rails and not complete their attendance form or attend the monthly coaching huddle.
What experienced group leader needs that?
What's the Solution?
What is the solution?
Focus the role of a coach on developing and discipling small group leaders.
Don't miss this. Although small group leaders rarely need help with technique longer than a few months, they will always need regular contact with someone that is a few steps ahead who can do TO and FOR them whatever you want them to do TO and FOR their members.
Although small group leaders rarely need help with technique longer than a few months, they will always need regular contact with someone that is a few steps ahead who can do TO and FOR them whatever you want them to do TO and FOR… Click To Tweet
Can I Ask You a Question?
Can I ask you a question? Do you have a coach?
If it's true that your leaders will always need regular contact with someone a few steps ahead (and that's why they really need a coach)...
And if it's true that your coaches will always need regular contact with someone a few steps ahead (and that's why you need to be developing and discipling your coaches)...
Isn't it also true that you will always need regular contact with someone a few steps ahead of you?
Who is that for you? Do you have a coach?
Can I Offer a Suggestion?
If you don't have a coach...you need to find one.
Maybe you need to join a huddle (the Small Group Network has huddles almost everywhere). You can find one near you right here.
Or maybe you need to set up a coaching relationship with someone like me (I almost always have 5 to 10 small group pastors I coach by phone). You can find out how to set up a coaching call right here.
If you don't have a coach...you need to find one.
Further Reading:
- 5 Ways to Blow Up Your Small Group Ministry
- Skill Training: Equip Your Coaches to Develop and Disciple Your Small Group Leaders
- 7 Things You Must Do TO and FOR Your Small Group Leaders
Image by C.B. Photography
Hi Mark,
This is a timely article for me. I have been reading lately about coaches being set up to be like telemarketers who just collect data. It concerns me that this is what some believe is acceptable contact support behind even new small group leaders. This is not a coach!
Coaches don’t need all of the answers, nor do they need to be more experienced than the leaders. As a coach, they can use questions to draw Holy Spirit-inspired quidance out of the experienced leader. However, having someone a step ahead is the ideal situation. I do like your recommendation to focus the role of the coach to developing and discipling small group leaders.
I believe there is much small group leaders can learn beyond keeping a group alive. Survival should not be the metric used to determine if a small group is healthy. No matter how experienced a small group leader is, there are always areas that can be improved to be more effective. A few months of training should not be the end. In fact, I would be concerned with a group leader who believes he or she knows everything and doesn’t continue to seek out knowledge and wisdom to be more effective to and for those God has enrusted to them (same for coaches). If this continual building of knowledge and wisdom is contained in the “develop” part of your recommendation to develop and disciple small group leaders, then we are total agreement.
Thanks for jumping in here, Roger. To me, the point of a coaching relationship is mostly about doing to and for the leader whatever we want the leader to do to and for their members. That said, ultimately very little of the coach’s role is about helping a new group survive.