I See Dead Groups
“Our small group just doesn’t have the energy it used to.” Seeming genuinely perplexed, he continued, “We’re really not sure what we should do. We’ve decided to take a break this fall. But maybe it’s best to just move on? It just feels stale. Any ideas?”
Maybe you’ve had this conversation with a leader. Maybe you’ve had a group yourself and wondered why it seemed stuck. Most of us have been there.
Here’s a core assumption for me:
Every small group has a lifespan. They don’t live forever. Most groups have a lifespan of 18 to 24 months…max.
How you feelin’? Want to argue?
Maybe you’re wondering about a group or two that you’ve been part of that seemed to last a lot longer than that? Stick with me. There’s something you need to know.
Groups can be dead and just not know it. They can still meet, still choose curriculum, hang out. They can do all of that and be dead…and just not know it.
How is this possible? Read on…
The Sixth Sense and GroupLife:
Let me give you a way to think about this. The Sixth Sense, written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan tells the story of Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), a troubled, isolated boy who “sees dead people,” and an equally troubled child psychologist (Bruce Willis) who tries to help him.
You know the movie, right? You may not have seen it. I did. It was a great movie. Although several of the scenes still spook me when I think about them, it was a great movie on several levels.
Can’t see the video? Click here to watch the scene.
(Spoiler Alert) Throughout the movie, the psychologist worked hard to help the boy. He was very understanding. He seemed to genuinely care about the boy. And then at the very end of the movie, in one of the greatest plot twists of all time, you suddenly realized that the psychologist was dead the whole time. The whole time! The boy could see him and even talk with him. But he was dead.
How This Relates to the Lifespan of a Group
In the same way that the psychologist seemed alive, some groups seem alive. The test for the psychologist is clear. What’s the test for a group?
Some diagnostic questions might help:
- Is the group still an environment where life-change is happening?
- What are the spiritual growth issues being worked on?
- What are the spiritual next steps that are being taken?
- Are there group members whose spiritual vitality is confined by the limits of the group?
- Is it just comfortable?
Obviously, every group is unique. There are clearly exceptions to the 18 to 24 month guideline. How will you know which ones are dead? Can you tell when they’re dying?
I say yes. There are clear signs. If you ever watch The Sixth Sense a second time you see all kinds of signs that he’s dead. It’s amazingly more obvious the second time around.
In the same way, if you begin looking at the groups in your system with an eye for lifespan…you’ll start to notice a lack of certain vital signs. There are definitely steps you can take to revitalize a group (I loved Rick Howerton’s, 10 Tips for a Small Group Makeover). There are also times when you’ll see the wisdom of encouraging certain groups to consider taking a small group vacation.
The main takeaway? Groups have a lifespan. The objective of grouplife is life-change. If you’re paying attention, you’ll begin to notice dead groups. And you’ll have a better idea what to do.
By the way, the post that followed this one, FAQ: Shouldn’t Every Group Have a Vision to Multiply? provoked a conversation that was just as engaged.
What do you think? Agree? Want to argue? You can click here to jump into the conversation.
This post is excellent and really tears me in two!
We lead a small group that I would honestly say is still alive according to answers to the above questions, however we have been going now for over two years.
Our vision as a group is to grow and multiply and we’re just on the verge of doing that. The fringe of friends who are unchurched folk around the group is growing and we’ve had new people come in and join us.
There’s nothing like multiplying a group to inject new energy, but half of me shouts “yes” to what you’ve written, and the other half screams “nooooooo”. As long as you are clear about what you want to do and really are moving towards the vision, I would say the timescales can be secondary. (Probably up to 3 years!! :D)
Glen
This post is excellent and really tears me in two!
We lead a small group that I would honestly say is still alive according to answers to the above questions, however we have been going now for over two years.
Our vision as a group is to grow and multiply and we’re just on the verge of doing that. The fringe of friends who are unchurched folk around the group is growing and we’ve had new people come in and join us.
There’s nothing like multiplying a group to inject new energy, but half of me shouts “yes” to what you’ve written, and the other half screams “nooooooo”. As long as you are clear about what you want to do and really are moving towards the vision, I would say the timescales can be secondary. (Probably up to 3 years!! :D)
Glen
Thanks for jumping in here, Glen! You’ve hit on the reason I say “Most groups have a lifespan of 18 to 24 months.” There are certainly exceptions. Yours sounds like an instance where you’re working toward the intentional goal of multiplying…you can see it happening…and you’re not quite there yet. Sweet!
The test in the next few months will be “do you ultimately multiply?” While I was at Lake Avenue (which many regard as one of the epicenters of North American grouplife), I met a number of longtime members of small groups (one group of 32 years) that had long since ceased seeing any significant life-change. I didn’t have the heart to tell him they were dead.
Love where you’re going! Keep me posted!
mark
Quite an eye-opening post. I do wonder however, if the groups are taking regular stock and evaluation, could they not keep focused on life-change and thereby go on for a very long time?
Thanks for jumping in here, Allen. There are certainly groups that proactively work at growing in Christ and remain “alive” much longer. However, only the most intentional of leaders can make that happen. I wrote Equip Leaders to Help Members Grow for that express purpose (http://www.markhowelllive.com/skill-training-equip-leaders-to-help-members-plan-to-grow/), but it is a rare thing.
mark
Mark, I can see that. I’ve been leading, coaching and pastoring small group ministry for almost 25 years and only a few fair well for many years. I think the other component here is that if groups are truly being life-changing and missional, they should be growing and multiplying. In that respect the face of groups should be changing fairly regular. If a group isn’t growing (in size) then it may already be dead or at least self-serving and inward focused.
Well put Allen! Dead groups rarely include new faces. They have almost always formed an impermeable membrane around their “fellowship” that is too difficult for new members to break through.
Just got around to reading this and it gave me the knee jerk reaction I needed. Hubby and I have lead a group for 3 years and have about 10 regular couples. Great right? Of course – our group is very dynamic and we have seen tremendous growth all around. However, we have been trying to get these couples to start their own groups (they are capable) but they are not willing. We take responsibility for creating this laissez faire culture in our group and are praying about how to overcome this hurdle.
Now, as the Small Group Director, I am sending surveys to the group leaders and plan on incorporating your questions to find out where we stand across the board. I want to empower the new group leaders before this becomes the new norm.
Good for you Elise! This is very important stuff, both for leaders and members. Not easy…but very important.
mark
I appreciate the article and definitely get group lifespan, but I would personally like to think of things in more positive terms than the “dead” group analogy. Maybe I would take a seemingly life-less group through those assessment questions but then add in the vision of multiplying–producing new life. The gist from the article that I get is that a group would end and that is that. Seems a bit short-changed. I’d rather cast a vision about a group multiplying out and forming new groups. So I guess instead of seeing a “dead” group, I may see a “time-to-multiply” group.