Andy Stanley on “Matters of the Heart”

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I am at re:group today.  Yesterday’s main session was so good and so important I thought I’d better let you in on one of my most important takeaways.

In Andy Stanley’s main session to start the conference, he used a series of statements to make a point that all of us–every single one of us–need to know.  Not only do we all need to know this, we all need to figure out more and better ways to use this knowledge to persuade everyone to get connected. [quote]

Andy built the premise for the talk with a set of 5 statements and then told the story of David and Bathsheba to illustrate the idea.

Here are the statements:

A small group is a voluntary structured relationship designed to address matters of the heart.

We avoid matters of the heart in spite of the fact that heart matters matter most.

Matters of the heart determine our relational satisfaction quotient.

Matters of the heart only get dealt with in trusted relationships (or with a professional counselor who costs a lot of money).

We resist most what we need most for the relationships that matter most.

Here is the essence of the story:

In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army” (2 Samuel 11).

Andy told the story with another series of statements.  Here are two of the most important.

David permanently undermined his credibility and moral authority with his adult children.

David got into trouble when he isolated himself from the community of men to whom he was most accountable.


We, who are working hard to build a culture of small groups in our churches, have a mission that is critical.  We must keep working to help connect unconnected people who are one tough thing away from never being at our churches again.  See also, What’s Your Urgency Level for Connecting Unconnected People.

I loved Andy’s closing words.  Speaking to a room full of small group pastors and leaders, he said, “Community is not optional.  It is critical.  What you do is not optional.  It is critical.”

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